This is a compilation/summary of the posts I have made throughout the semester.
I’ll admit I was reluctant to journey into the SNS world. I thought the whole thing was silly; for people who had too much time on their hands. I chose Facebook over MySpace because several colleagues at work used Facebook and I figured it made sense to use a program that would allow me to collaborate with other teachers. Also, when researching which of the social network sites was most popular, I found that Scoble considered Facebook to be the “Porsche of social networks” and that there is a “goldrush” type movement for people to join Facebook. (http://www.allfacebook.com/2009/03/scoble-calls-facebook-the-porsche-of-social-networks-and-the-facebook-gold-rush-returns) This made me curious and intrigued me. I decided to check Facebook out for myself and see why it was so popular.
My first few days on Facebook were boring. I simply could not understand why people spent hours on Facebook each day. I hardly had any friends; there were never any messages or updates to read from people. Within three or four days, I began receiving requests from people asking me to become their friend. The first request was from an exchange student I had been very good friends with in high school. I was amazed that she had found me! I had not seen or heard from her since 1996. We chatted and I learned that she is living in Spain. For the first time, I became interested in Facebook because I realized that it was not just a program to goof off with, it could really be used in a meaningful way. Facebook had helped me reconnect with a long lost friend.
I soon had a lot of friends. As I added more friends, I noticed that there were a lot of comments to read each day. I was entertained by my friends’ funny stories and their kids’ pictures. Facebook became much more appealing. I found that it was no longer boring. I could easily spend twenty minutes on Facebook a day, reading people’s walls, looking at pictures, etc. I could even post my children’s photos for others to see. For example, I posted my children’s Easter pictures. I found that Facebook was a nice, easy way to catch up with people in their lives, especially in our fast-paced world.
As time passed, I became more familiar with Facebook. I noticed some general trends as to why people used Facebook. I posted my conclusions in my blog on April 21st:
- Socialization – Some people simply want to socialize. They use Facebook to reconnect with friends they haven’t seen in awhile, whether it be old high school friends or friends from college. They find out what everyone is up to, how many kids they have, who they married, etc.
- Job Marketing – Some people market their jobs on Facebook. For example, there is a lady who is a wedding planner who constantly discusses her upcoming weddings and highlights the plans she is making for each wedding. It is free advertising for her. Another Facebook User has an Internet Card Company. He tries to get people to join his company as well as get people to purchase cards on the Internet.
- Event Planning – People sometimes plan events and send messages for Facebook users to attend. For example, since I have joined Facebook, I have received invitations from friends to attend a Pampered Chef party, Kelly’s Kids party, and a Financial Planning Seminar. It is cheaper and faster to send invitations through Facebook. You can send the invitations with the click of a button and you don’t have to write everyone’s addresses on the invitations.
- Benefits/Charities – People try to raise money for charities or benefits. For example, there is a Facebook user who lost a child. She is trying to raise money for a playground that will be donated in her child’s name. She is asking Facebook users to help her raise money (Facebook users she knows).
- Brag Books – Many people use Facebook to show off pictures of their kids, places they have traveled, their new home, quilts they made, etc.
- Two Seconds of Fame – Some people seem to enjoy having two seconds of fame or “being on stage”. They love to come up with crazy stuff to post to see what kind of response they can get. For example, Adam is ambassador of the neti pot. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neti_pot#Jala_Neti
- Games - Many people use Facebook to play games. They play games with friends or send items such as Easter eggs to their friends. Some of the games require teamwork and cannot be played alone.
I found that as a Facebook User, I did not fit into most of these categories. I simply used Facebook as a socialization tool and as a brag book (to show off my kids to friends).
As the weeks passed, I realized I was becoming hooked on Facebook. I found myself checking it each night, as frequently as I checked my email. It was something I looked forward to each day. I continued to receive requests from people to add them as friends. I was selective in who I added. I added most people, but every now and then, if I received a request from someone I did not know very well, I decided to ignore the request. As a teacher, I feel I have a reputation to uphold in my community and I didn’t want someone to post things to my wall that were inappropriate. For this reason I was selective in accepting friends.
I received two requests from parents of students at my school. I was torn on whether to accept them as friends. They are wonderful parents and I knew they had excellent character, but I felt odd bringing them into my personal life. To me, my professional life and personal life should not mix (when it comes to parents, that is) and it felt odd for the two to cross. The parents are also a part of our PTO and I see them at school every day. I was worried they would think I was standoffish or rude if I chose to ignore them on Facebook. This is what I posted on my blog on April 24th:
As teachers, do you all allow your students or parents to be your friends on Facebook or MySpace? This is a situation I have encountered. Some parents requested me as a friend on Facebook. My initial thought was to not accept them as a friend because I felt they were parents and should be kept in my professional life; not be brought into my personal life. But then I Okayed it because I didn’t want to see them at school and appear rude for not accepting them. I do worry slightly about the fine line between my role as a professional and an “acquaintance” on Facebook. I personally am not posting anything on Facebook that would be considered controversial or challenge my morals/ethics as a teacher, but what if another friend on my page makes a rude or derogatory comment on my wall? The parent could potentially associate me as thinking like that person. Most likely this situation would not happen, but it could. Does anyone else see adding parents or students as a potentially troublesome issue? Or is it just me?
I was relieved to know that others in our class felt the same as me; that our professional lives and personal lives typically should not mix! However, my classmates also agreed that there was no other choice than to make the parents friends; it would look rude not to. I have been very cautious about what I say, knowing that these parents have the ability to read everything I write. Sometimes, I want to vent about school, or the administration but I am always careful not to because I am aware I have an audience. I also monitor my wall and check to see that my “friends” comments are appropriate, because I feel they are a reflection of me and I don’t want the parents to associate me with vulgar language, offensive or derogatory comments, etc.
Because I was concerned about privacy and parents becoming involved in my personal life, I researched privacy options on Facebook. I discovered that Facebook allows users to set parameters so that people are limited as to what they can see and post on your wall. I realized my concerns were valid when I read an article about a professor who posted derogatory comments about her administration that got her into some trouble at her university. My posting from April 25th is below:
I found an article called “10 Privacy Settings Every Facebook User Should Know“. It is a very interesting article, especially for those of us in education who need to keep some element of privacy due to our jobs. I also found an article called, “How to Not Loose Face on Facebook“. It is about a college professor who complained about some of her colleagues on Facebook as well as made comments about her university. She thought the only people who could read it were “her friends”, but she had neglected to select the proper setting and the messages were viewed by over 300 people, including some of her students. One of her students published her comments in the university’s newspaper. Not only did the entire university find out about the comments she made about her colleagues/university, but the news media picked it up and ran stories about it, describing how Facebook can get employers in trouble at work. Ouch!! It is amazing how a few thoughtless words on Facebook can make the national news!
Since reading these articles, I have since changed some of the privacy settings on my Facebook account. I feel like Facebook should make this information more readily available on their site. Instead, I had to search for it on my own.
While the privacy settings are wonderful for me, in my situation, I realized that they are a potential nightmare for parents. Teenagers can utilize the privacy settings to keep their parents from viewing their Facebook pages. My niece has done this very thing. I wrote about it in my blog entry on May 4th.
My niece is on Facebook and made me a friend so I am able to keep up with what she is doing. She DID NOT make her parents friends, even though they are both on Facebook. How embarrassing!
I’m unsure of the solution to this problem. Yes, we can monitor how much time we allow kids on the computer, but Internet access is everywhere. Kids are getting online in the library, from their cell phones, at their friends house, etc. It seems almost impossible. Down right scary, I think. I’m not saying I won’t allow my kids to get on SNS sites when they are older, but I believe that as a parent, one stipulation would be that they are required to make me a “friend”. Also, no computer would be permitted in their room, so that I can monitor what they are doing, how much time they are on the computer, etc.
Although I really enjoy socializing on Facebook, and keeping up with friends, one thing that has surprised me is the way people gossip out in the open on Facebook. I realize it is natural for people to talk about each other, to some extent. However, people tend to be discreet about it in public. Someone might tell me something in my room or in the hallway when no one else is around and we might have a good laugh and that is the end of it; the same at church or at Wal-Mart. Usually, the comments are not intended to hurt anyone’s feelings; just the general comments/jokes people make from time to time. However, on Facebook people say stuff right out in the open with an audience of two hundred people. It is amazing to me! They might be discussing a colleague or someone they go to church with and everyone chimes in. I’m not talking about kidding around or joking, but mean spirited, hurtful comments. I do not believe that I am a naïve person, but it has truly shocked me to see this kind of behavior. If grown adults behave in this way, I can only imagine how teenagers must bully each other on the Internet. I find it quite scary. These are the posts I made on April 21st:
Are social rules different on Facebook than in the real world? This is a question I’ve been wondering about. We all know people talk about people. Is this nice or fair? No, but it is just a fact of life. However, in the “real world”, if you talk about someone you usually try to do it discreetly so that the person you are talking about does not know. However, on Facebook, is it okay to do it out in the open where people can read it? I saw this the other day. Some people were talking about someone I knew on their wall. They were discussing how someone had hurt their feelings and that they weren’t going to be friends with this person anymore. Several other people chimed in about incidents they had encountered with this same person. The person they were talking about is not a Facebook user, but the conversation is written where everyone can read it and what is worse is that in the real world, just a few people would hear the conversation. But on Facebook, lots and lots of people can read it. So, my question is, are social rules different on Facebook?
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Well, I now know what cyber fighting is! I had made an earlier post called “Talking about People on Facebook”. Since then the saga has continued and the person that was being talked about now knows!! She has become a Facebook user, read the comments, and it is all out war!! It is amazing to me that people fight on the Internet in public. This whole Facebook thing has exposed me to a whole new world.
After rereading my posts and reflecting, I have decided that the social culture of Facebook is different than in the real world. I believe it is because people forget that they have an audience of two hundred/three hundred people when they type a comment and hit the post button. They forget that so many people are reading what they write. To them it feels as though it is just the computer screen and themselves. In the real world, it is very uncommon to see someone publicly humiliate or make fun of another adult in front of an audience that large. I believe that Facebook and other SNS sites have really opened up the door for bullying. A teenager was trying to tell me about cyber bullying a while back and I had no idea what he really meant until now. I imagine that it is common for teenagers to post pictures of each other and make fun of each other, say ugly things, on Facebook and they do it before a huge audience of their peers. It must be so humiliating for the kid who is being picked on.It is bad enough to be picked on at school, but it would be before a smaller crowd and once the child got home the bullying would end. With Facebook, there is no way to escape, because the bullying could continue after the bell rings.
In conclusion, even though I have pointed out some concerns I had about Facebook my experience overall was very positive. Although I was reluctant to join at first, I plan on keeping my account open. I check it several times a day and have even convinced my mom and several friends to join. Facebook is very multigenerational; my grandmother and great aunt even use it. They like to look at family pictures of grandchildren and Facebook is a great tool for doing that. There are some issues with Facebook that still make me a little uncomfortable, as I discussed earlier (privacy concerns, becoming friends with parents, cyber bullying/talking about people, etc.) however these issues are not enough to convince me to close my account. Like everything else, they are just issues that must be addressed. It has nothing to do with the Internet itself, these types of issues occur in the real world as much as they do the virtual one, just in different formats and to different extents. I enjoyed my journey into a SNS and may check out some other ones to compare them to Facebook.
